


Goodnight, Keiji

by Pinky_pocky



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi is asleep, Angst, Bokuto is dying, Character Death, FUCK, Hospitals, In Another Life by Luxray, M/M, i cried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:28:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28460151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinky_pocky/pseuds/Pinky_pocky
Summary: “Goodnight, Koutarou.”***Bokuto's death as Akaashi sleeps next to him. Very short, wrote it in less than an hour.***A spin-off to the BokuAka fanfiction called In Another Life by LittleLuxray
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Goodnight, Keiji

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleLuxray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxray/gifts).
  * Inspired by [In Another Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5096105) by [LittleLuxray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxray/pseuds/LittleLuxray). 



> Thank you for checking this out, I really appreciate it. This was written under an hour with my ranting and rotting brain so, lots of ewies.

"Goodnight Koutarou." 

Bokuto's eyes wandered over to the window. The light from the room just bright enough to illuminate the few falling bits of snow from outside his window. They looked like shooting stars, and perhaps, maybe they were. Stars, sailing across the dark and endless sky, no clear destination, only following the dance of the wind without a clue. Stars that have fallen from the sky, landing on the earth just slightly lighter than a butterfly's wingbeat. 

As he watched the snow descend, his eyes began to focus beyond them instead. 

If snowflakes were stars, then those twinkling dots in the sky are too. 

Snowflakes are gentle, frozen stars. Those diamonds in the sky were balls of searing flames. Both have followed Bokuto all throughout, but he's only ever touched one of the two. One of those stars have handed in his arm, the other just remains watching over him. 

Maybe… Maybe he'll be able to see the other one up close, maybe he'll touch one without feeling the burn. 

Or maybe he can be one. 

Maybe he can be a star. 

A gigantic star, so bright and beautiful that he entrances astronomers to give him a beautiful name. One that people look up to every night. A star that accompanies the sleepless and watches over those in slumber. He could be a star that watches over Akaashi. Silently wish him nightmare-less nights and kisses him goodnight with his glow. 

"Goodnight Koutarou." 

Goodnight... 

That word has never sounded more alien to him. It seemed like a word taken out of an old book and written in a foreign, ancient language that he couldn't understand. Something he would probably never be able to speak again no matter how hard he tried to relearn it. A language that he used to be so accustomed to, something he used to understand, something he never thought of forgetting everything he knew about. 

It was strange, hearing that word leave past other people's lips. 

He just… couldn't understand. 

He's no longer associated with that language, he's forgotten sleep. Perhaps the majority still use it, are still comfortable with it, extremely familiar with it. Most use that language like it's their second skin. They dine with sleep, go on dates with them, and wake up to have breakfast with them seated across. 

But Bokuto's forgotten what that felt like. Having sleep as his friend, having sleep's contact number that he could dial whenever and wherever. Sleep was a friend he took for granted who probably got so full of his shit that it decided to pack up and throw a peace sign before slamming the door, taking with them his knowledge of the language they used together.

Words constantly would flood his mind and bleed out through his eyes. Words from that strange, ancient, forgotten language… 

Words he wished he still remembered. 

Yet, none of them made sense to him in any way until someone specific whispers it to him. 

Slowly, he turned his head to rest his boney and sunken cheeks on Akaashi's crown and closed his eyes. He could feel the softest touch of his lips on his neck, now actively aware of his hot breath teasing the skin covering the prominent bone on his collar. Familiar soft snores filled his ears, blessing him once more with a sound so delicate yet, so ponderous, so heavy to the soul—like an intricate piece played by an orchestra in the dead of the night. A song that was written for him alone, a rhythm that only he was allowed to hear, harmonies only he can feel through his bones. Something just for him. 

He was going to miss this. 

Lying in silence, listening to a lullaby only he had the privilege to listen to, watching the hour hand move from three in the morning to twelve in the afternoon in a matter of five minutes, watching the stars, seeing things that weren't there, pondering over things in his messy head and unable to stick to one topic. 

If he was still able to laugh, a satiric chuckle would've vibrated from his chest as he opened his eyes only to green irises looking back at him from above. 

For a while, Bokuto just stared up at him, the other man in the otherwise quiet room. He was oddly familiar and for a good minute or so, the man remained that way, bent over until his face was right above Bokuto's, darkened jade eyes blinking. 

He stared back at the pair of beautiful irises, the only thing holding him back from spiraling was Akaashi's tepid puffs of air heating his skin. The Akaashi beside him was real, this one wasn't. But still equally beautiful. 

"Hey, Koutarou?" The other Akaashi, straightening his back and stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "We should really go see the beach some time." 

Bokuto managed a weak quirk on the corners of his lips, silently agreeing with him. 

"I… I want to go hiking, and scuba diving, and go to festivals. I want to play on the playground during a rainy night and go to 7/11 to buy spicy ramen at one in the morning, soaking wet. I want to strip naked and let people paint me, I want to try tasting deep-fried roaches, I want to jump into a pool of orbeeze, I want to pass out drunk in the middle of the street in a clown's costume." 

Akaashi looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. "I've been wanting to play volleyball lately," He breathed out. "To make ridiculous pillow forts and clean package peanuts off the floor and wherever it stuck to. I want to burn pancakes at nine in the evening and mow the lawn after midnight."

Everything around them was tranquil. A few seconds passed, or maybe minutes. It could've been hours, but both Akaashies never moved. One continued to breathe down Bokuto's neck, the other remained looking up with his eyes closed. Slowly, a gentle smile spread across his face as if he was in total serenity at that very moment.

"I want to do them all with you." 

Though the wind howled outside and Akaashi mumbled into his neck, even if the clock was ticking and Bokuto's chest rose and fell sickly as his lungs desperately heaved for air, despite the tear falling down the corner of his eye and losing itself in Akaashi's hair, everything seemed to freeze as he closed his eyes. 

Sleep didn't come, but thousands of memories swarmed in like flies. 

He was thankful he met Akaashi in a time like this. Thankful for all the times he came to visit, the way he laughed at certain things and the 'jokes' he made, those strawberry pocky sticks he would always bring, the sets he received when they played volleyball that one time. Bokuto was grateful to whoever or whatever gave him Akaashi. His green eyes that would seem almost blue from afar, his sharp nose and his hair that curled at the very ends, his everything in total. He couldn't think of how he would've gone through this if Akaashi never existed in his life. 

He can't even imagine if he never existed at all. 

It may have already been a couple of hours or only been fifteen minutes, but Bokuto didn't open his eyes. 

He continued remembering the memories they had together, desperately trying to relive them inside his oh so messy head, one tear escaping after another. 

That one time when the vending machine refused to give him the pack of gummy bears he wanted, having sulked the entire evening until Akaashi came to visit the next day. Akaashi finding him pouting on his bed the morning he came and listened to Bokuto whine about the stupid sachet. He left. Then came back with a brown paper bag filled with gummy snakes and apologized to Bokuto because he couldn't find gummy bears.

Or when a bird entered the hospital room through his open window. Bokuto was convinced it was another hallucination, something that isn't real. Beautiful, but not real. He watched the little thing flap its wings as it glided into the room and land on top of a book that Akaashi was reading. He can remember exactly how Akaashi looked up and smiled at the tiny thing and the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips upon seeing the lime green bird. 

"We need to do those things soon." 

Bokuto's eyes snapped open and looked at the Akaashi who was still looking up at the ceiling. 

He wanted to tell him that it might take a while, that those things would probably have to wait another sixty-five years—but he can't. 

All he could do was let another tear fall, this time, finding home on the hospital pillow. As if saying 'I'll wait.'

The man opened his eyes slowly, like he was just waking up from a dream he's had for a long time. He lowered his head, and looked over his shoulder to gaze out the window. He blinked at whatever sight was there behind the glass pane, snow casually and silently falling, then turned to Bokuto. His small smile morphed into something that embodied sun rays peeking through the blinds. 

"I know you'll wait." Akaashi squinted his eyes to try and prevent the salty tears from falling. "Come find me, alright?" 

Bokuto blinked slowly, an action to say yes and pulled his lips into whatever imitation of a smile he could muster but as his heavy lids lifted up, no one was there anymore. 

The Akaashi he met that first time in the hallway, that Akaashi who said he'll wait for him wasn't standing there anymore. Just a fabrication.

Goodnight... 

What a weird thing to say. When it comes from anybody else's mouth, it means nothing. He doesn't understand what it means or what it's trying to say. But when Akaashi says it, he finds himself wishing he'd hear more of it. He wants to spend as many nights as he could with him. They don't have to be doing anything, it could just be an unopened goodnight message, or them lying together. All Bokuto wanted was to have as many nights with Akaashi to last three lifetimes and never-ending. 

Whenever those goodnights came from Akaashi, it's like he could understand that unknown language again. Like he never forgot all about it in the first place. 

Gathering whatever strength he could, Bokuto forced his hand to rise and tilt Akaashi's chin upwards. With everything he could, Bokuto lifted his head as far as he could and placed a feathery kiss on Akaashi's forehead. At that millisecond, he engraved into his deteriorating brain how Akaashi's hair felt against his chapped lips and the warmth of the skin under his fingertips. 

"Whenever I'm with you, I start to understand once again what I've been forced to forget," he so badly wanted to whisper out loud but he didn't know how. 

With a heavy sigh, he dropped his head back and returned his arm to his side. 

Goodnight...

That kiss, that kiss meant everything he has wanted to say wholeheartedly for a long period of time. That kiss was the only choice given to him, but if there were many others he could pick from, he knew that he'd still choose it over everything else. 

It was the only way he knew how to speak the forgotten language. 

A way of speaking something so foreign but with absolute meaning.

"Goodnight," the kiss said. 

After such a long, long wait, Bokuto can finally say it like he means it. He can finally feel how it felt when he knew the ancient language long ago. 

"You'll come find me, right?"

"Yes. I'll find you until I fall off the edge of the earth. I'll wait for you, I'll wait for all those things you want to do with me. I'll wait for your goodnight so I can wish you sweet dreams and wake up in the morning to your voice. I'll wait for the day that I'll never return the blanket and scarf to you ever again," the kiss said. 

"I'll wait, Keiji. I'll wait for you and I will find you," it said. 

"I promise," that butterfly kiss whispered when Bokuto couldn't. 

With that,

Sleep has never looked so welcoming yet, so painfully heavy and... And kind. 

"Goodnight, Keiji."

**Author's Note:**

> Hoped you liked it, the fanfic has been haunting me for months now and I decided to just take it all out on a google document and share it to those who care.


End file.
